The Brooklyn Daily Eagle from Brooklyn, New York • Page 32

T11K UKOOKLYK DAILY EAGLE. NEW YORK. SUNDAY, JANUARY 12. 1910. 4 TIIKX Til KY KHKIXllD THE NUTS, If It Might Happen in the United States IS JUST LIKE My brother wrote mo about a dinner sonio of tl'e soldiers gave for two visitors at camp, members of a fa ON THE OTHER SIDE A View of Our Funny Cousins Across Seas.

YOUR GROCER mous Canadian regiment, who were home on sick leave. The sergeant had been carefully coached ubout giving tho toast, but becamo flustered und this is what ho made of It: "Here's to the gallant Eighth, last on the field and tho first to leave It." Silence reigned, then the corporal TO DO THE SAME came gallantly to the rescue: PAST. 1 "Gentlemen," ho began, "you must excuse the sergeant; ho never could I give a toast dicently; lie Isn't used to public apeaking. Now I'll give a toast: Here's to the gallant Eighth, YES. madam; and what kind ot Jam would you like? A three.

Dounri iui equal to none." Chicago Tribune, tainly. madam 1 Wt hav excellent fruit salad, fresh in this morn. aome very tine. Nothing more? Thank you. madam.

n. IPAUMDTU ISLANDS send lt? Oh, no, madam no trouble at all I We'll send the bnv nA day, madam. Cheese? And what kind would von RICH IN PEARLS PARADISE LOST. Do you remember, dour, those golden hour In tho spring pageant of a silent wood, When you and niuldst the listening flowers, Itevcaled ovir love and everything teemed good? Ah! that was paradise when eye youth Envisage rose as the prevailing eolor When nothing can persuade them of the truth That life is tinged, at least, with something duller. "There's nothing half so sweet as love's young A popt sang (his verdict does him credit) Remember, though "things are not what they seem." It quite as true (another poet said It).

We thought time love the one magnetic key Which opened up the world for our possession A ery slight reflection' makes us see We labored under quite a wrong impression. We're older now, alas and many things Which did not enter then our range of vision Combine as lempus fugit on his wings To modify our Immature decision. The world Is phrase Is just a sham Twas branded so this morning by my grocer! I asked blra could I have two pounds of jam, And he replied (in frigid accents), "No, sir!" So "love's young dreamer" wakened with a start, To find (when he recovered from bis He couldn't give bis orders la carte," But had to be contented with a ration. The second poet, then, was quite correct (His brother rhymester just indulged in banter) And now I sit down calmly to reflect Upon the truth of "tempora mutatUur." Still I remember, dear, that pleasing thought Which once our lover's fancy "looped-tbe-loop" mi, Before our two young minds became distraught Bv having to procure things with a coupon. The Passing Show.

Pnpette, Island of Tahiti, December 28 (Correspondence of the Associated Press) The Patimotu Islands sometimes called "gold mine" of tho eastern Pacific present a weird and picturesque scene during the season for pearl fishing. From August on, come the natives from tho surround ing Islands to dive for pearls In the calm waters of tho lagoon thrown i open for the purpose. Within the I narrow strip of sand which surrounds the fishing ground are huddled 2.000 WORKER AND PEACE. "As you havo big wings please fly up and up and up until you- come to provision prices and fetch them down within reach." Htquclla, Barcelona. UKs, madam 7 Cheshire, Cheddar, gor-gonzola, Gruyere, Roquefort.

Half a pound of gorgonzola? Thank you, madam. PRESENT. Are you registered here? Where' your ration book, then? Well, you can have a pound of plum and apple and lucky to get It, too! No, we don't guarantee It! We don't gunrantee anythingand we have plenty of customers only too anxious to take anything tbay can get, if you're not satisfied. Cheese? We haven't half enough cheese a month to supply our oldest and best customers for a week- and there's none left now. The customer who has just gone out? Oh, you must be mistaken.

What? Well, he must have had the last, then. You can't teach us how to run our business, yov know. And, anyhow, you don't suppose we'd tell lies about a paltry bit of Gov eminent cheese, do you? I FUTURE. Hullo! Is that Mrs. Hyphen-Browr Good morning, madam.

We haven received any esteemed order from you for quito a long time. You are dealing entirely with one of the big stores? Oh, madam, we feel sure you will come back to us. You surely wouldn't turn your back on the local grocer who served you well all the way through the war, when food was short. Did you say "and tempers?" Oh. no, madam, we never found you short-tempered.

Never! Won't you allow us to book a small order, madam? I am sorry! Perhaps you will allow us to send you a froe sample pot of our new apricot jam? It's just In. Oh, no, madam, we only want to live The Saturday Journal, London. Dog Heroes of the Great War or more, in a mushroom city, sheltered beneath corrugated Iron or thatched roof huts, it is a motely company. There is the Paumotu diver, a bronzed sea-god, who, with bis ancestors, have been for ages, masters of the deep and conquerors of the sh.uk In his own native clement He is the center of solicitude for the buyer and trader. He is the Indospen-sable object of the moving picture man who has hastily built his theater of corrugated iron where he dispenses amusement at metropolitan prices.

It ts the diver who will spend his earnings riding in the wheezy motor ear which the owner operates along a half mile of hard beach. It is his earnings which attract a host of others. In his habits of spending his earnings the Paumotu diver is much like the American prospector and miner of the days of gold strikes and boom mining camps. In the days of his prosperity nothing is too good for him. He buys the choicest of foods and tinned goods.

He Is proud of the appearance of his women folk and lavishes on them silks, satins, laces, Chinese shawls, high heeled shoos, picture hats and corsets, the last a recent discovery. All of these things the trader thoughtfully has provided. Sunday is an Eastern parade and a performance at the picture theater like an evening at the opera. In no "golden horseshoe" in the world are more observant or critical eyes, and woe betide tho Paumotu belle who fancies she can attend two of these functions clad in the same costume, without being subjoct to scornful comment. A good diver during the season will bring up several tons of shells which recompense him well.

The diver takes no thought for the morrow. He and his wife, bask in affluence and enjoyment. He spends as fast as he earns. When December comes and the fishing season is oer they return to their little sloll and tho simple life with nothing remaining for his months of toil but some soiled finery, the memory of a good time and the inti-cipation of a repetition of their pleasure tho next year. CAN THESE MAKE YOU SMILE mWP THE ARMISTICE The tobacco and spirits, other people cor- tainly will.

Many a brave soldier in the war in France owes his life to some poor, uncared-for stray dog, says a writer In the London Times, telling about the part dogs played in tho great war. In the early months of 1917 a War Dog School of Instruction was formed by the War Office, and Lt. Col. Richardson, who has devoted his life to training dogs for military and police purposes, was appointed commandant. The school started at Shocburyncss, Lieutenant Whuts an hn7 lhA renter of the -Well.

sir. wo The Soldier Leicester rtf ns ran KCt so quiet now, mm. hosterv tracts, mere ure to. sleep, so we're taking it in turns to thaf at the p0 s.iturday make a noise like a howitzer. lc gho gave Bamsay Macdonald "socks." Hue, Paris.

kinema announcement reads: FIGHTING SPIRIT ny with the Also THE Relatively Harmless! Chaplin." Yet this house con- did so many of you Australians marry charlle you were going to the mr, tjnucs to show the Chaplin films. ist as bloke's tvoii it's, like this. If Can former office boys, now Lieu- game, he'll take on anything." Sydney Bulletin. tenants, return to their old Jobs? i Snrelv men who have been licking HOME-MADE JOKES. IF SHE HAD BEEN BLACK "A lovely black lady's ponyskin fur coat" is advertised for sale in the Lincolnshire Echo.

Of course, black, ladles can bo lovely. In fact, when Mrs. Lanctrv was at the summit of her Germans can be trusted again 10 iick stamps. "Five men fight for one seat," is the news from one of the constituencies. Nearly as bad as in the trams Pork Prices 27 Years Ago beauty and tame! she met at a dinner an African King who was visiting London.

She did her best to please the dusky monarch and evidently suc-for he said to her as they i parted: "Ah, madam, if heaven had only made you black and fat' you would bo irresistible." London NOBODY LOVES A CENSOR "Who censors the censor's love letters?" "Tho censor has no love letters." Kansas City Star. POOR OLD ROBINSON "Jones called his prize rooster Rob." "Rob?" "Yes, that is the short of Robinson." "But why call him Robinson "Because he crew so." St. Louis Star. FTRM IN1 THE FAITH A colored minister of the Baptast Church, so runs the story, In order to strengthen and confirm the faith of his congregation, took as his text: "In thoso days came John the Baptist, preaching In the wilderness of Judea." "Oh," said he. "how I like to.

read thesa nrecious words in the blessed Bible) Time was when the housewife I could go out on Saturday night to buy EN PASSANT The statement that food "lor Sunday dinner and come telephone operators sleep or play back with arms laden and purse cards during the night has been offl- still pretty well intact. Whether she cially denied. So far, so good but i should bring home leg of lamb, a now we want to know how some of I roast or a ham for the Sunday feast. but was recently moved to Lyndhurst, Hants. Gamekeepers, hunt servants, and shepherds were called up from the army to be instructed and to assist in the instruction of the dogs.

At first the dog recruits came entirely from the Battersea, Birmingham, and Liverpool Homes for Lost Dogs, and many a dog has thus been saved from the lethal chamber, and has done excellent national work. The police have been of great assistance in sending unclaimed dogs, and finally the puolic were appealed to for gifts of dogs. Tho result has been a splendid flow of line dogs to the school, and hearty thanks me due to the officials of tho Dogs Homes and to the police for their courteous assistance, and to those members of the public who so generously gave their dugs. It is only iittlng that they should know that their dugs have been the means of saving countless lives and much valuable property, and have also been instrumental in materially substituting manpower at a time when this was all-important. Numbers of men and dogs have been trained at the War Dog School and have gone to Prance, the dogs to act as message carriaers in the field, and tho men to take charge of them as their keepers.

The skill, courage, and tenacity of these dogs have been amazing. During heavy barrages, whn all other communications have been cut. the messenger dogs have mado their way, and in many cases have brought messages of vital import. Sometimes they have been wounded in the performance of their duties, and there is a wonderful record of the determination with which wounded dogs have persisted in their duty. In the same way, the record continues of successful message-carrying through darkness, mist, rain and sholl-flre, and over every sort of difficult ground.

Many a time has a dog brought a message In a few minutes over ground that would lake a runner hours to cross. During the great German assault this year part of our line in front of a famous town was cut off by severe enemy barrage. A messenger dog was releasod with an urgent appeal for reinforcements. It ran three kilometers in 10 minutes. A French colonial division was sent up and saved the situation, otherwise there would have been a terrible disaster.

This dog was a Highland sheep dog. On many other occasions messenger dons them employ themselves during uie only nuns on inn ueeisiun ui lamei the vote of the rest of tho family. day. According to a price list of the Cudahy Packing Co. of Chicago, ts- One of the American Delegates to You don't read anywhere about John the Peace Conference is to De uenerai sued in isai, if years oacK, living was Bliss a name which suggests a de- 1 a cheap business.

Bis Juicy hams .1,, whole affair. I w'eie to be had for cents a pound in lightful endingto the wnoie anair. ig; gf bacons 8ausaKes Athn mnata tn Via1 it nt i na 1 1 Now that we have been told some- f((r the asklng ImaBinc Itlp van thing about London's net defenses winkle, awakened from a twenty- eeainst air-raids, wo begin to under- seven-year slumber, turned buyer. walking briskly into a butcher shop stand the magnitude of the Huns' net losses in machines. and demanding a ten-pound ham with SO cents in his withered palm, a pound of bologna for 7 cents and a pound of bacon for 10 cents.

"Poor benighted creature, wake up and hear the birdies sing. Your bill the Presbyterian, or John the Methodist, or John the Episcopalian. No, brethren, it is John the Baptist." The Argonaut. KEEPING UP THE GAME "Smith is a great golf bug, Isn't he?" said Brown. "Yes," replied Jones.

"He kept his hand in all winter and had practise every day." "But how could he practise in winter when the links are closed?" asked Brown. "We walked downtown every morn-Inir. anH everv two hundred yards he Several children born since Armistice Day have been christened Peace. HIS FIANCEE One thing more, Charles. When we are married, and mamma comes to live with ut-CHARLE3 (aghast) Mamma with us? HIS FIANCEE But you needn't mind, dear she's going to have grandma with herl But they will bo In arms for at leatj another year.

i "Justice must be executed," says Mr. Lloyd -George. In this one in- stance, the Kaiser and Justice standi together. is $5.57 and you are handing me I cries the indignant butcher, watching with nervous eyes the long line of restless customers. "How come you by that?" queries! the bewildered Rip, thrusting forth! the price list of the Cudahy Packing Co.

dated 1892. -The Pasting Show, would swing at an Imaginary ball with Look ye, here it is, plain as can the his cane," replied Jones. men no wonM puse a blue streak and when he U. S. RED CROSS HOSPITAL FOR BLIND Alter cneruveiy be." he reads with loud, triumphant Kaiser's beard." a British Squadron voice: l-oM now nnnronriatelv occupied Wil- Per lb.

got downtown he would drink a Scotch hnlmshavcn. The Passing Show. I Hams, sugar cured 12 lb 10 cents I have been taken up with our assault ms, sugar cured, 10 lb 09 cents Ha EVENTY-ONE of the 200 men of California hams 06 cents is highball." Milwaukee sentinel. GOT ONE IN YOUR HOME? Duna. who has just the American fighting forces th 0EVE ts ts 1 KJ wh Clear breakfast bacon 10 cell Pried beef 07 cen ing school for the blind maintained by the Government.

He described the morale of the blinded men as wonderful. "The men are first treated In tho tlon to fit them for the calling in which they aro interested and are qualified successfully to follow. "Thus, those with Inclination and tho Inherent ability nre trained for ho were blinded in the war LINKING BILL The Huns will n'ver entirely appreciate Kaiser Bill until they begin to foot his war-bill. -Columbia Record. Pork sausages 00 cents now are being sheltered, Heat ed or educated in the Red Cros Instl Bologna 06 cents! Tongue sausages 0d ccnt.

got married at Plattsburg. is a grandson ot the Journalist, Charles A. Dana, and in an interview he said. tuto for tho Blind nt Baltimore. Tho hospital," says Col.

Rordloy In state- such occupations as stenographers. ment, "after which they are taught to I saleumen, correspondents, retail store "Soft, soft," cries the butcher, looking anxiously about at- tho customers. "That was before. Since then, my finivii. fren(i tne needs of war.

the high cost SHORTAGE. riVYromc to a ww word "My grandfather believed in marriage. He thought it steadied a man. I remember a story he used to tell. "It's a story about a chap ing iroupn, umi nitve eurrieu oacK ae-tails of the captured positions to brigade headquarters, whereby the state of affairs could bo accurately gauged and acted upon without delay.

On ono of these occasions a dog ran six kilometers in 20 minutes, while in another case a dor carried back a map of an important position In 20 minutes, when a man would have taken an hour and a half to bring it in. In positions where runners have been unable to move at all messenger dogs havo carried out tholr mission faultlessly. The breeds that have given tho best results for this work have been collies, sheep dogs, lurchers and Airedales, and crosses of these varieties, while in several cases Welsh and Irish terriers of the large type have given excellent results. the utrcss of present-dan fond- of moor, hungry wurope, the excess under institution has been designated as United States general hospital and Is railed "Evergreen." Col. Juines Bord-ley, director of the Institute, suld that all the Americans blinded in the war would be brought here for a course of training, as this was the only train- use a typewriter nnd read and write Braille raised typo for the blind, Then they receive special training to develop tho sense of touch, "After this fundamental hand training, the men are given special eduea- asked a man: managers.

(In connection with this latter occupation, plans hnve been already mado to open a chain of retail stores, each of which will havo a blind solilior as manager.) "Thoso with a love of out-of-doors and a natural aptitude for out-of-door life will be trained for chicken raising, proni i.ax, me ijineriy jjoan suoscrip-tions, nil these things. Circumstances alter cases, you know. Tho world does not stand still." 'Have you ever heard anything about a machine for telling when a man Is lying?" said tho man. 'Have you ever seen said the chap. Seen said the man.

'By gosh, I married Washington The Alarum; Time to Wake Up! bee-keeping, truck gardening und such like occupations. Those of such caliber nnd a mentality that fits them for Industrial life ure trained not merely Sentry dogs have been employed In I the Balkans. As an example of their! in shop practice but. for some partic- vigilance. it may lie stated that one dog gave warning of an enemy scout curd atnrnitir.

A member of a Drron-Khire Jrmd vnmmHtee, remarked: "I but eh uith Mr. Western Mail I went forth to "butch" in the morning, My shopping-net much out of dale; I "fished" at a slab 'neath an awning, With a coin and a smilo for my bait: I "draped" at a shop In tho High street, I "baked" and "eonfec-d" and I "barbed" at the corner of my street, And "nows-d" Just to see what I'd backed. I "pub-d" 'neiilh the sign round the corner, But when I returned rrom my "wet" I found to my cost Half my purchases lost, For I'iA "groeod" with a tear in my net. The rnsslng Show. WHIPPED TOPICS Germany full rtrMiiyr at a distance of 300 yards, ana on many occasions the presence of enemy patrols was notified by the dogs before our sentries were aware of their presence.

Large numbers gf dogs have been trained as watchers and guards. Some of theso have been sent to the Italian front, hllo others are In use wherever there nre valuable stores, to be gunrded. By this means large numbers of men havo been releasod for oilier duties, and vulnerable spots of vital Importance have been itendored secure. In conclusion It may ho said that the dogs all love their work, and hnve Ideal surroundings at their training ground In the New Forest glens and glades. Here unwavering kindness and devoted service govern their ular Job that they can fill and in which they will feel happy, i "Men with a high quality of educa-' tlon and ability that fits them for pro-! fesslonal life will be given such special education as will cnablo them to fol-j low their chosen career such us law, massage, llteraturo, "Men who know say that tho blind nian Is hundieappod over tho sighted, "0 per cent.

Tho men aro being given 30 per cent, und more educational training than their sighted follow I workers, thereby nilnlmlaing this I handicap, "While a man Is being prepared for 'this future career, tho position for which ho Is being fitted is being secured. In a word, ho Is helped to I help himself he Is encouraged to i equip himself to be a good citizen." i Tho hospital is located upon the lnrge, adjoining estates of Mrs. T. Harrison (Jarrett nnd Richard H. Pleas- until on the northern outskirts of tho I city, which were loaned to the Government by their owners.

Tho bulld- ed to make her militarism "pay." but the Allies are coins to! Star. A BIT CLUMSY Edith How does Fred make love? Marie Well, I should define lt as unskilled labor. Boston Transcript. AN ABSENTEE OWNER Pollu (on short leave) Where Is your mistress' maid? Suzett.c Hp-stairs, monsieur, arranging madame's hair. Poilu And madame is shs with her? Cassell's Journal.

The Hun Invades Nnrscry Rhyme. There was a Httls Hun, And ho had a little eon. And his bullets were all dumdum, dumdum; He shinned up a tree Tn eMpe what he culd see. But now he Is In kingdom come-come-eome! R. M.

Eassle, "Odes to Trifles." A PROTECTIVE POLTCY-A eol-orcd recruit said he Intended to take out the full limit of Government Insurance, $10,000. On being told by a fellow soldier that he would be foolish to pay on so much when ho was likely to be shot In the trenches, be replied! "Huh! I reckon knows what I's doln'. You-all don't s'pose Uncle Ham Is gwlne to put a $10,000 man In the first-line trenches, do you?" Boston Transcript Tho people who cannot see any good In tho Kaiser ought to remember that FOCH AS 'HE IS SPOKE. From us you'll hear no scornful "Tush!" When others laud the name of Foch. he has Just disinherited tho Crown Vrlnco.

A witness nt How County Con it said We ho had son munition girl use Treas leave the Tents to murmur Bosh!" ury notes as curling papers. Britannia I When people speak In praise of Fooh. hiks uu nuinon in ma nuust uc irons and gardens. ruling the usual. "My wife.

Minnie Kogle, has left my bread and board, and I will not here; lifter be responsiblo for any debtu she may contract." Arlvt. In Mason Oinbc-Onzette. Sbo left his bread because, It was the war variety, presumably, fiinurcllng by nlr In foreshadowed. Unless the Government brings dowu Tho secrPt service men should watch All aliens who disparage Foch, And pinch the first who dares to broach An advorso thought concerning Foeh. Cornel Voice your foellngs toward the Booh a I A trio of htiszRs for Fqchl Chicago Evening Post.

FOR A NORWKGIAN HANK. Mexico City, December 28 Representatives of Norwegian capitalists nre nrranglng for tho establishment In this city of a Norwegian hank, which will hnve branches In various parts of the republic, particularly In tho States of Taraaullpas and Jalisco. I Mr. Lloyd George will be very busy this coming week at 10 Downing Street on inMtert dealing with demobilisation..